More check-ups set for Pavano
Posted by: Peter Abraham - Posted in Misc on May 08, 2007 
Print This Post
| 
Email This Post
I just spoke to the Yankees. Brian Cashman is so determined to find a doctor who will clear Carl Pavano to pitch that he has set up several more appointments for the Rajah of Rehab in the coming days.
Pavano will be headed to England to see Dr. Who. Then to Crab Apple Cove, Maine to see Dr. Benjamin Franklin Pierce, a well-respected former Army doctor. From there he will go to New Orleans to see Dr. John.
Rodney Dangerfield’s old personal physician, Dr. Vinny Boombatz, will see Pavano in Las Vegas.
Finally, just to make sure his head is fine, Pavano will stop in New Jersey for a few sessions with Dr. Jennifer Melfi.
“Hopefully this will get Carl on the right track,” Cashman said. “We’re all hopeful.”
what about Dr. kevorkian?
Or Dr. Winston O’Boogie, if only he were still alive.
“You shoulda been there!”
Dr. Winston O’Boogie, 1974
HAHA Chris. I think eveyrone would fight to drive him there.
No mention of Dr. Phil?
I’d suggest Doctors House, Spaceman, and Pepper.
How about Dr. No… as in: “No, you’re not going on the DL you like whiny !@$%!#”
All examinations will be administered on “flat ground” just in case.
other notable appointments might be dr. zhivago and in another very difficult appointment to get, Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. This is a crack staff wating to see the rajah
Or, Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine
Carl was quizzical, claimed he didn’t need a physical
Just some Tommy John
Every night clutching his buttocks and elbox, crying oh, oh, oh, oh
Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine, calls Carl on the phone
“Can I take you to Dr. Lewis Yocum, Pavano-no-no-no
But as he’s getting ready to go, a knock comes on the door
Bang Bang, Maxwell’s Silver Hammer came down upon Carl’s head!
Bang Bang, Maxwell’s Silver Hammer made sure, the contract was dead.
How about “Dr.Zhivago” @#$%^%
This has to be one of the funniest blog entries ever!! I am laughing my *ss off!!
“Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard”
btw, I think Doctor Who is on hiatus and not in England right now. Just sayin’….
Are there any actions that the Yankees can take to just get rid of him? Cancel his contract? Send him to Single A?
In my opinion,Yankees only need to check his head…
hilarious, pete.
i think it’s absurd that cashman is trying to get pavano to a point where he “has” to pitch because a dr. says there’s no tear. like that’s going to change anything about pavano. no matter what the dr. says, he’s going to report pain or discomfort when he throws. what are they going to do then, force him to take the ball every fifth day? good luck getting any wins out of that approach. it’s time to cut their losses and move on.
Or Dr. Seuss…
I do not like Carl on the mound
I do not like Carl on flat ground
I do not like Carl in the Bronx
I would like Carl with the Red Sox
I do not like Carl in a Porsche
I do not like Carl on a horse
I do not like Carl’s strained ham
I do not like Carl, P. Abraham!
There’s only one thing this thread is missing:
Cue Bob Hope – golf ball flies into the tent —
“Ah! Mind if I play through. Doctor.. Doctor.. I’m glad I’m not sick.”
I feel I’d be remiss if I didn’t suggest Dr Rosenpenis & Dr Rosenrosen.
Dr. Ruth?
Carl says he needs surgery, the Yanks are not so sure. Carl says he has a doctor’s opinion that he needs surgery, the Yanks say they have a couple of opinions that go the other way. They tell Carl to go to Scranton and throw a rehab start as part of a rehab plan for his arm. Carl refuses saying he needs surgery and that throwing in a game will further injure his arm. The Yanks say: “We decide what’s good for your arm and we have several doctors on our side.” Carl refuses to throw and the Yanks put Carl on the restricted list and refuse to pay him.
Carl’s lawyers file a grievance and the Yanks settle and buy out the rest of Carl’s contract at a discount to avoid further litigation and end the Carl Pavano saga once and for all.
doc holiday, dr. livingston, dr. 90210, dr. beeper who is playing golf with judge smales
doc gooden?
Even if Cashman is able to get The Rajah out on the mound to pitch, my money says it wouldn’t be long until we had to send Dr. Hook out there to retrieve him.
dr. bunsen honeydew and beaker
Even tho I have a Dr Kevorkian Gift Certificate I have been saving for ‘just the right occasion’, I think because of Dr Melfi’s contacts, she would have a quicker Final Solution for Carl.
Matt, the Dr. Seuss prose is excellent.
murphydog, I don’t know if that’s possible, but I’m all for it. Maybe ALL these injuries have been legitimate, but I certainly feel cheated as a fan. It’d feel somehow satisfying if they made dicegay go through a legal mess. Maybe not fair, but it’d feel like some sort of revenge.
Where’s Waldo , Oops I mean Carl Pavano.
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/2006/06/waldo.html
Dr. Satan has “rearranged” all of his afternoon appointments so he can see Carl.
I can’t believe nobody has suggested he see Dr. Doolittle. They’re a perfect pair.
And where is Matt Clement?
Exactly Dan. He would be represented by Dewey, Cheatum and Howe. Or is he Dewey, Cheatum and Howe?
who needs the Rajah when we have the original Rajah?
Rogah Clemens.
I have to say, excellent baseball analysis on this thread, not. Looks like we have run out of actual Yankee related conversation.
You’re forgetting Dr. Seuss, Dr. Scholl, Dr. Pepper, and, for good measure, Dr. Freud.
“i think it’s absurd that cashman is trying to get pavano to a point where he “hasâ€? to pitch because a dr. says there’s no tear. like that’s going to change anything about pavano. no matter what the dr. says, he’s going to report pain or discomfort when he throws. what are they going to do then, force him to take the ball every fifth day? good luck getting any wins out of that approach. it’s time to cut their losses and move on.”
i think Cashman is trying to make a case to void his contract. if all 4 doctors are recommending rehab, not surgery, and Pavano refuses to rehab, the Yanks *may* have a legitimate case. probably not though. they should probably let him have the surgery and just try to collect the insurance.
or maybe they are stalling to make pavano have the surgery at a late enough date where he is definitely out all of 2008, which would facilitate an insurance payout.
The guy may just be bad luck.
I’d love to know our record when he is actually in uniform.
In 2005 we started horrendous. He goes down in June. We win 95 games.
Hes out all of 2006. We win 97 games.
Hes a jinx
How about we send him to see Dr. Strangelove. Maybe Carl’s precious bodily fluids have been fluoridated?
Anyway, I’ll vote to see the Hot Carl dumped out of a B52 bay straddling a bomb. Wooooooo Hoooooooo!
Hey Pete, you know what? you should not waste any more time on this clown, just ignore him, I realize that your job is to cover the team but I’ve had enough of this lady, the fact that he is refusing to pitch for the greatest team in the history makes me sick… please no more news on this fraud
lets see if Marcus Welby MD or Dr. Kildare are also available. Maybe Dr. Freud also.
Do you think Clement and Pavano have a chuckle about this when they go out for steaks?
Did Ed Whitson personally induct them into the club?
“what about Dr. kevorkian?”
I’m not sure how it was possible… but that was just great timing, even for a message board. Fantastic!
What about Dr. Feelgood?
Pavano better get out of Dodge before Clemens joins the team. That’s a major confrontation waiting to happen. I know they met and played golf with Pettitte during ST, but things have definitely changed since then.
What about Dr. DOLITTLE?!
*CLEARLY* all he needs is a visit with Dr. Martin van Nostrand…
he needs to see these guys:
http://tinyurl.com/2bwygu
not even alan alda or donald sutherland could save him… Hawkeye *whistle*…
In Other News:
Clemens begins comeback in Kentucky
Updated: May8, 2007, 1:28 pm EDT
LEXINGTON, Ky. (AP) — Roger Clemens began his return to the majors on Tuesday, working out at the University of Kentucky’s baseball complex two days after signing a free-agent contract with the New York Yankees.
Clemens worked out for about two hours, saying his arm felt good but that he won’t know what kind of shape he’s really in until next week.
It’s the second straight year Clemens began his comeback here. The seven-time Cy Young Award winner made his first rehabilitation start with the Lexington Legends, a Class A affiliate of the Houston Astros, last May.
Clemens, who signed with the Yankees on Sunday, could be back with the club by the end of the month.
Clemens was expected to attend the Legends’ game on Tuesday night. His son, Koby, plays third base for the team.
“I do not like Carl on the mound
I do not like Carl on flat ground
I do not like Carl in the Bronx
I would like Carl with the Red Sox
I do not like Carl in a Porsche
I do not like Carl on a horse
I do not like Carl’s strained ham
I do not like Carl, P. Abraham!”
that is brilliant well done… pete you need to give this guy props… “with oscar wilde wordplay like that?” sorry if you arent a clerks II fan
Doctor … Doctor … Glad I’m not sick.
Schilling on Bonds
[quote]
http://www.boston.com/sports/b.....nds_1.html
Curt Schilling may be a big fan of Roger Clemens, but you won’t find any Barry Bonds posters hanging on the walls of his Medfield home.
Schilling, in his weekly appearance on sports radio WEEI’s “Dennis and Callahan” show, was asked if baseball fans should hold their noses while watching Barry Bonds’s pursuit of Hank Aaron’s all-time Major League home run record.
“Oh yeah. I would think so. I mean, he admitted that he used steroids,� said Schilling. “I mean, there’s no gray area. He admitted to cheating on his wife, cheating on his taxes, and cheating on the game, so I think the reaction around the league, the game, being what it is, in the case of what people think. Hank Aaron not being there. The commissioner [Bud Selig] trying to figure out where to be. It’s sad.
“And I don’t care that he’s black, or green, or purple, or yellow, or whatever. It’s unfortunate… there’s good people and bad people. It’s unfortunate that it’s happening the way it’s happening.�
Schilling was asked if he would give Bonds a pitch to hit if the home run record were on the line when the San Francisco Giants come to Fenway in June.
“Not on purpose,� said Schilling. “Hell no. I don’t want to be Al Downing.� Downing, who won 20 games for the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1971, is best known for giving up the record-breaking 715th home run hit by Hank Aaron on April 8, 1974, in Atlanta.
“I’m guessing they’re going to try to make sure it [record-breaking home run] happens in San Francisco,� said Schilling.
Schilling said he thinks that Bonds’s achievements during his period of alleged steroid use — as detailed in the book “Game of Shadowsâ€? — should be “wiped out.â€?[/quote]
I think hmmmm is on the right track. I was thinking the same thing, has something to do with voiding his contract or more likely with the insurance. Assuming what Pavano is saying about the doctors recommending surgery is accurate, sounds like Cashman is stalling or doing something to position a better resolution financially for the Yankees, however that may be possible.
OK, you heard it here first. According to the Big Schill, Bonds + steroids = Bad.
Now, what does Big Mouth have to say about Big Papi’s “maybe I drank something when I was young” steroids version of “I smoked but I didn’t inhale.”
You’re forgetting Dr. Evil & Dr. Demento!
Send Pavano to Latveria!
Dr. Faustus? Maybe he and Carl can discuss the pros and cons of selling their souls for material wealth.
In all seriousness, does anyone know or can ask (Pete?) if there is any kind of insurance provision in the contract where they can recoup some of the money if Pavano makes less than X number of starts over the four year period? If not, well, there should be. I mean, not that the Yankees are that concerned about the actual money but just for making a statement about this bust.
And again, I ask how can you need surgery when you haven’t pitched?
Matt: Well done
In keeping with the MASH theme, Dr. Sidney Friedman.
Perhaps he should just see Corporal Maxwell Klinger, trade fashion secrets, and cuddle… That will make Pavano feel better.
Can we champion the nickname, Carl “Klinger” Pavano?
Why not just send him into the bullpen to see Doctor Proctor?
Jeff NJ
Grow a sense of humor.
Not a bad idea, Jeremy. Klinger could use one high and tight.
Seriously guys, my case for Carla “Klinger” Pavano:
Klinger desperately wanted and constantly came up with excuses to get out of the Army; Carla desperately wants out of baseball and keeps trying to hurt new parts of his body to get out (what’s next, bruised right breast?).
Klinger is goofy looking, Carla is a giant awkward duck.
Klinger has a big schnaaz, Carla does too…
Klinger wears women’s clothing, safe money says Carla does too.
Carla = Klinger.
Agreed?
I just read a news report that Klinger has “hollow bones” syndrome. That explains it.
“OK, you heard it here first. According to the Big Schill, Bonds + steroids = Bad.
Now, what does Big Mouth have to say about Big Papi’s “maybe I drank something when I was youngâ€? steroids version of “I smoked but I didn’t inhale.â€? ”
i don’t know about Papi, but let’s not forget who hit the bloop over the drawn in infield to give Schilling his first WS ring.
Maybe Dr. Ben Dover?
I say we do what Garfield would do? Pack his @$$ in a box, and ship him Abu Dabi. Ether that, or we beg Stienbrenner to cut him, and then sue, him for breech of contract. I mean come on, His contract does say he gets $40,000,000, over 4 years right? But don’t it also say something about him, pitching over those same four years?