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Have you seen this man?

Posted by: Peter Abraham - Posted in Misc on Jan 23, 2008 Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post

4617.jpgIn the funniest story of the night, the feds can’t find Chuck Knoblauch to serve him with his subpoena.

Osama bin Laden, I’ll give you that. He’s hiding in a cave somewhere in the mountains. But you can’t find Chuck Knoblauch? Our tax dollars at work.

Meanwhile, old friend Jaret Wright signed a minor-league deal with the Pirates. It’s truly amazing how desperate teams are for pitching.

UPDATE, 9:40 p.m.: A man matching Knoblauch’s description was just spotted at the Grover Cleveland rest area in New Jersey in line at the Roy Rogers. He seems to be headed to Canada.

U.S. Marshall Samuel Gerard is now on the case and has promised “a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.”

Run, Chuck, run.

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62 Responses to “Have you seen this man?”

  1. Old Goat January 23rd, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    Maybe he has the WMDs. ;)

  2. Upstate January 23rd, 2008 at 8:51 pm

    RUN, CHUCK, RUN !!!

    GOOD LUCK !!!

  3. pat January 23rd, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    The Pirates are truly the Yankees AAAA affiliate. How many castoffs have they picked up now.

  4. zac January 23rd, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    this actually depresses the heck out of me. the government has nothing better to do than drag chuck knoblauch’s skeletons out of his closet?

  5. NYhunter January 23rd, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    This is really funny… Government can’t find a retired ball player… :-)

  6. ummfada January 23rd, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    maybe he’s trying to find first base… see what I did there?

  7. Jennifer - Save Phil Hughes! January 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    :lol: trying to find first base.

    I mean seriously, leave the guy alone. This country is in crisis, and our goven’t is worried about Chucky? Me being a responisble person is screwed because the feds dropped the interest rate 3/4%. Why not worry about what is important, instead of a reitired baseball player who used hgh or roids years ago.

    I mean why not dig up Ruth and see if he used roids? :lol:

  8. Boston Dave January 23rd, 2008 at 9:20 pm

    Jaret Wright was a decent pitcher for 3-4 innings. I think it’s a very good signing for a team like the Pirates. He may be a serviceable fill-in for an NL team.

  9. Jennifer - Save Phil Hughes! January 23rd, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    Jaret thought he’d have to retire last year, I don’t understand this.

  10. Bronx Liaison January 23rd, 2008 at 9:27 pm

    hahah

    Well Pete, according to the federal gov’t, Knobby might as well be as important as Osama Bin Laden

  11. The Doctor's Companion January 23rd, 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Are you serious? This is beyond hilarious! I hate to use lame puns, but Good Luck Chuck…nothing screams “I took drugs” like running from a subpoena.

  12. Noname January 23rd, 2008 at 9:41 pm

    Clemens/Hardin’s process server took a week or more to serve Brian McNamee, and the comments on blogs seemed to weigh evenly between saying McNamee was ducking the server and echoing McNamee’s lawyer about the competency of the server.

    I don’t think the process server for this subpoena has been looking even that long for Knoblauch. What’s it been, 3 days?

    I’m sorry, but I don’t see the humor in this — yet.

  13. poor chuck January 23rd, 2008 at 9:46 pm

    chuck is lost, much like his throws to first base!

  14. Kelli in Conn. January 23rd, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    A writer caught up with Knoblauch a few weeks ago in Texas and what little he said was of no real substance although he said that once he left baseball he was done for good and is not an easy man to find. He’s been very evasive since leaving the game for whatever reason.

  15. cupaJOBA January 23rd, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    LOL very nice pete..

    check out this blog on Phil Hughes and his blog.. interesting..

    http://adanarchy.com/2008/01/2.....r-vinegar/

  16. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers! January 23rd, 2008 at 10:03 pm

    Are you serious?

    Wow.

    Funniest thing I saw all night.

  17. Khoa January 23rd, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    Dr. Richard Kimble: I didn’t kill my wife.
    Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don’t care.

  18. mel January 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    I’m surprised. Chuck was more than willing to spilling his guts to the media earlier, “saying I don’t have anything to hide”.

    Maybe he’s really running from Roger.

  19. JBRO January 23rd, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    http://s5.largeimagehost.com/d.....key=june23

    Joba wallpaper in case any of you missed it in the last post…

  20. UtilityMan January 23rd, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    pat

    Actually the Phillies have about 6 former Yankee minor leaguers in their system now…
    Justin Pope
    Matt Childers
    John Urick
    Michael Cervenak
    Jason Anderson
    Kris Wilson

  21. li January 23rd, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    So does this mean we can attribute Chuck’s throwing woes to his prosthetic arm?

  22. whoa January 23rd, 2008 at 10:27 pm

    Should I be looking for a picture of Chuck on my milk cartons?

  23. YanksGal07 January 23rd, 2008 at 10:28 pm

    JBRO

    Thanks …I just set it as wallpaper and looks great …I’ve had Arod’s 500th up for awhile now ..time for a change.

    Go Yankees 2008 !!!

  24. Drew January 23rd, 2008 at 10:30 pm

    OMG That’s too funny. Is he driving a white Bronco?

  25. Fleas January 23rd, 2008 at 10:31 pm

    Haha. Nice Pete!

  26. EricNS January 23rd, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Scotty beamed him up!

  27. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers! January 23rd, 2008 at 10:42 pm

    Drew:

    Omfg.

    LMAO

  28. pat January 23rd, 2008 at 10:48 pm

    Utility Man

    Sean Chacon
    Nick Green
    Josh Phelps
    TJ Beam
    Raul Chavez
    Kevin Thompson
    Jared Wright

    I think I’m missing someone else but can’t think of who it is right now.

  29. Frank from Norwalk January 23rd, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    maybe he is hiding out in the Pine Barons with the Russsian looking for Paulie Walnuts

  30. Buddy Biancalana January 23rd, 2008 at 10:56 pm

    pat-

    Nick Green signed a minor league deal with the Yankees.

    http://mlb.mlb.com/news/articl.....8;c_id=mlb

  31. #9 January 23rd, 2008 at 10:59 pm

    Do the Feds look like a first base bag?

  32. li January 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    Maybe fishing in Cabo?

  33. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers! January 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm

    #9: Duh, of course =P

  34. NYhunter January 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 pm

    #9:

    no… they are all retired first basemen… :-)

  35. gargoyle January 23rd, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    The notion that congress needs to haul Chuck Knoblauch in order to help them unravel the steroid “crises” is beyond stupid.

  36. HGH January 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    No. But my friend Tyler Kepner interviewed him at his front door recently.

  37. pat January 23rd, 2008 at 11:41 pm

    OFF TOPIC

    Giants kicker, Lawrence Tynes on Letterman tonight.

  38. rob January 23rd, 2008 at 11:47 pm

    pine barrens def one of my favorite sopranos episodes

  39. Robert January 23rd, 2008 at 11:56 pm

    ummfada

    That was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Absolutely brilliant

  40. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers! January 24th, 2008 at 12:07 am

    Am off, first neuro quiz tomorrow.

    Night all. Think of brains.

  41. brockdc January 24th, 2008 at 12:21 am

    “Run, Chuck, run.”

    Pete, you should copyright that and sell the T-shirts on your blog.

    Put me down for a “large.”

  42. george January 24th, 2008 at 12:38 am

    Knoblauch’s probably in the Caribbean on vacation.

    There always seemed to be some pleasantly chaotic activity revolving around Knoblauch – for example, the 1999 ALCS defensive screwups that the umps then missed the calls on, almost inciting a riot at Fenway. “Pick up the ball.” Huge home runs in the 1998 & 1999 World Series. The Lonnie Smith thing in the 1991 World Series. this Federal Marshall chaos fits right in.

  43. Chuck Not Block January 24th, 2008 at 12:50 am

    Leave Chuck Alone! He has done nothing wrong! What can he be other than a distraction at the hearing?

  44. wicket January 24th, 2008 at 12:51 am

    HGH:

    The reporter was Thayer Evans of the Times not Tyler Kepner. Surprisingly, Knoblaugh lives in Houston, like every other Yankee accused of doing steroids. Pettitte, Clemens etc. Does anybody know if the Big G has a house in Houston as well?

    Anyway, here’s the link to the NY Times story at the end of which Chuckie has one request for the reporter: “Don’t tell anybody where I live [especially the Feds].”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01.....38;ei=5087

  45. wicket January 24th, 2008 at 12:51 am

    HGH:

    The reporter was Thayer Evans of the Times not Tyler Kepner. Surprisingly, Knoblauch lives in Houston, like every other Yankee accused of doing steroids. Pettitte, Clemens etc. Does anybody know if the Big G has a house in Houston as well?

    Anyway, here’s the link to the NY Times story at the end of which Chuckie has one request for the reporter: “Don’t tell anybody where I live [especially the Feds].”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01.....38;ei=5087

  46. robbie cano January 24th, 2008 at 1:10 am

    hahaha come on chuck, when you are trying to discreetly make it to canada, hit the drive dawg

  47. robbie cano January 24th, 2008 at 1:11 am

    drive-through*

  48. Mike January 24th, 2008 at 8:02 am

    I guess Chuck Knoblauch has become Colonel Markinson

  49. Paul January 24th, 2008 at 9:22 am

    Pete — Service of Process or a Subpoena can be hard when the person you’re trying to find is ducking service, since the subpoena has to be actually delivered to the actual person. As a private lawyer, when I’ve been able to devote resources 100% to finding and serving someone, this can take lots of time and be very frustrating.

    Knoblauch (along with the rest of the world) knew a subpoena was coming in advance. The US Marshals have lots on their plate already and probably can’t devote anyone full time to hunting down Knoblauch. They’ve probably visited his home a few times and some other places he usually can be found at, but that’s all they can do.

    In my experience, US Marshals are dedicated and professional people. I’d be surprised if the Marshals were doing anything other than their best under the circumstances.

    Pete, you’re a good, fair-minded, and interesting guy. Why don’t you (with the resources of your newspaper behind you) try to hunt Knoblauch down? If you find him before the Marshals do, then maybe you can critique the Marshals’ performance — taking into account that they have other assignments as well. If you won’t, then I think it’s as unfair for you to call out the Marshals as it would be for me to go through everything you’ve written, single out all the wrong trade calls you’ve made, and conclude that you don’t know one end of a baseball bat from the other.

    All the best, and BTW I’ve really enjoyed the guest blogger month.

  50. F Stan January 24th, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Maybe they should look for Chuckie in and around the
    Fenway Clubhouse….. Mitchel’s Gestapo would never look for anyone there… The BoSox are clean as Mitchel’s Whistle

  51. saucy January 24th, 2008 at 10:04 am

    Good luck to Jaret Wright and Chucky. i liked Jaret, even though i never understood the signing. expect him on their major league roster.

  52. saucy January 24th, 2008 at 10:26 am

    thanks for the link cupaJOBA. that blog looks neat.

  53. Rockin' Rich January 24th, 2008 at 11:33 am

    He’s hiding in my basement along with Judge Crater and Amelia Earhart.

  54. Drew January 24th, 2008 at 11:51 am

    Knobby’s probably in Mexico by now.

  55. Hideki Balboni January 24th, 2008 at 1:03 pm

    Chuck was quoted in a New York Times article last week as saying, “Don’t tell anybody where I live.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01.....ref=slogin

  56. J-Dawg January 24th, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    I think that Chuck could be hiding out with D.B. Cooper somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.

  57. Scott January 24th, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    Knoblauch, Ankiel, Hundley were all on the report. What do they all have in common?

    All lost the ability to throw the ball.

    Coincidence? Probably…if I believed in coincidences….and I don’t.

  58. UtilityMan January 24th, 2008 at 4:33 pm

    Josh Phelps is now with the Cardinals.
    and
    Nick Green is on a minor league deal with the Yanks.

  59. Frank Discussion January 24th, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    I saw Knoblauch hiding behind the grassy knoll…

  60. Mean Gene January 24th, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    This “Pat” person knows nothing about baseball. The Pirates typically can’t afford Yankee castoffs. Wright will probably be our big free-agent signing of 2008. And 2009. Wright’s signing will probably cause hot dog prices to rise by a buck at PNC Park. Not that he’ll ever pitch there, of course.

    Odd that Congress is so adamant that Chuck Knoblauch testify, yet they don’t seem to care that Josh Bolton and Harriet Miers haven’t come to testify about their high crimes and misdemeanors. Even as we speak, our democracy swirls down the toilet.

  61. Ross (nyystadiuminsider.com) January 24th, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    NYY Stadium Insider invites you to play:

    Where’s Knobby:

    http://nyystadiuminsider.com/2.....nobby.html

  62. Mr Ephraim January 25th, 2008 at 4:14 pm

    has anyone looked here

    http://hcad.org/records/detail.....0310000008

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