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Have you seen this man?

January
23

4617.jpgIn the funniest story of the night, the feds can’t find Chuck Knoblauch to serve him with his subpoena.

Osama bin Laden, I’ll give you that. He’s hiding in a cave somewhere in the mountains. But you can’t find Chuck Knoblauch? Our tax dollars at work.

Meanwhile, old friend Jaret Wright signed a minor-league deal with the Pirates. It’s truly amazing how desperate teams are for pitching.

UPDATE, 9:40 p.m.: A man matching Knoblauch’s description was just spotted at the Grover Cleveland rest area in New Jersey in line at the Roy Rogers. He seems to be headed to Canada.

U.S. Marshall Samuel Gerard is now on the case and has promised “a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area.”

Run, Chuck, run.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2008 at 8:48 pm by Peter Abraham.
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62 Responses to “Have you seen this man?”

  1. Old Goat

    Maybe he has the WMDs. ;)

  2. Upstate

    RUN, CHUCK, RUN !!!

    GOOD LUCK !!!

  3. pat

    The Pirates are truly the Yankees AAAA affiliate. How many castoffs have they picked up now.

  4. zac

    this actually depresses the heck out of me. the government has nothing better to do than drag chuck knoblauch’s skeletons out of his closet?

  5. NYhunter

    This is really funny… Government can’t find a retired ball player… :-)

  6. ummfada

    maybe he’s trying to find first base… see what I did there?

  7. Jennifer - Save Phil Hughes!

    :lol: trying to find first base.

    I mean seriously, leave the guy alone. This country is in crisis, and our goven’t is worried about Chucky? Me being a responisble person is screwed because the feds dropped the interest rate 3/4%. Why not worry about what is important, instead of a reitired baseball player who used hgh or roids years ago.

    I mean why not dig up Ruth and see if he used roids? :lol:

  8. Boston Dave

    Jaret Wright was a decent pitcher for 3-4 innings. I think it’s a very good signing for a team like the Pirates. He may be a serviceable fill-in for an NL team.

  9. Jennifer - Save Phil Hughes!

    Jaret thought he’d have to retire last year, I don’t understand this.

  10. Bronx Liaison

    hahah

    Well Pete, according to the federal gov’t, Knobby might as well be as important as Osama Bin Laden

  11. The Doctor's Companion

    Are you serious? This is beyond hilarious! I hate to use lame puns, but Good Luck Chuck…nothing screams “I took drugs” like running from a subpoena.

  12. Noname

    Clemens/Hardin’s process server took a week or more to serve Brian McNamee, and the comments on blogs seemed to weigh evenly between saying McNamee was ducking the server and echoing McNamee’s lawyer about the competency of the server.

    I don’t think the process server for this subpoena has been looking even that long for Knoblauch. What’s it been, 3 days?

    I’m sorry, but I don’t see the humor in this — yet.

  13. poor chuck

    chuck is lost, much like his throws to first base!

  14. Kelli in Conn.

    A writer caught up with Knoblauch a few weeks ago in Texas and what little he said was of no real substance although he said that once he left baseball he was done for good and is not an easy man to find. He’s been very evasive since leaving the game for whatever reason.

  15. cupaJOBA

    LOL very nice pete..

    check out this blog on Phil Hughes and his blog.. interesting..

    http://adanarchy.com/2008/01/23/athletes-blogging-water-vinegar/

  16. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers!

    Are you serious?

    Wow.

    Funniest thing I saw all night.

  17. Khoa

    Dr. Richard Kimble: I didn’t kill my wife.
    Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don’t care.

  18. mel

    I’m surprised. Chuck was more than willing to spilling his guts to the media earlier, “saying I don’t have anything to hide”.

    Maybe he’s really running from Roger.

  19. JBRO

    http://s5.largeimagehost.com/displayimage.php?img=smalljoba.jpg&loc=UcFXets&skey=june23

    Joba wallpaper in case any of you missed it in the last post…

  20. UtilityMan

    pat

    Actually the Phillies have about 6 former Yankee minor leaguers in their system now…
    Justin Pope
    Matt Childers
    John Urick
    Michael Cervenak
    Jason Anderson
    Kris Wilson

  21. li

    So does this mean we can attribute Chuck’s throwing woes to his prosthetic arm?

  22. whoa

    Should I be looking for a picture of Chuck on my milk cartons?

  23. YanksGal07

    JBRO

    Thanks …I just set it as wallpaper and looks great …I’ve had Arod’s 500th up for awhile now ..time for a change.

    Go Yankees 2008 !!!

  24. Drew

    OMG That’s too funny. Is he driving a white Bronco?

  25. Fleas

    Haha. Nice Pete!

  26. EricNS

    Scotty beamed him up!

  27. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers!

    Drew:

    Omfg.

    LMAO

  28. pat

    Utility Man

    Sean Chacon
    Nick Green
    Josh Phelps
    TJ Beam
    Raul Chavez
    Kevin Thompson
    Jared Wright

    I think I’m missing someone else but can’t think of who it is right now.

  29. Frank from Norwalk

    maybe he is hiding out in the Pine Barons with the Russsian looking for Paulie Walnuts

  30. Buddy Biancalana

    pat-

    Nick Green signed a minor league deal with the Yankees.

    http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080115&content_id=2346268&vkey=news_mlb&fext=.jsp&c_id=mlb

  31. #9

    Do the Feds look like a first base bag?

  32. li

    Maybe fishing in Cabo?

  33. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers!

    #9: Duh, of course =P

  34. NYhunter

    #9:

    no… they are all retired first basemen… :-)

  35. gargoyle

    The notion that congress needs to haul Chuck Knoblauch in order to help them unravel the steroid “crises” is beyond stupid.

  36. HGH

    No. But my friend Tyler Kepner interviewed him at his front door recently.

  37. pat

    OFF TOPIC

    Giants kicker, Lawrence Tynes on Letterman tonight.

  38. rob

    pine barrens def one of my favorite sopranos episodes

  39. Robert

    ummfada

    That was the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Absolutely brilliant

  40. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Save the Three Musketeers!

    Am off, first neuro quiz tomorrow.

    Night all. Think of brains.

  41. brockdc

    “Run, Chuck, run.”

    Pete, you should copyright that and sell the T-shirts on your blog.

    Put me down for a “large.”

  42. george

    Knoblauch’s probably in the Caribbean on vacation.

    There always seemed to be some pleasantly chaotic activity revolving around Knoblauch - for example, the 1999 ALCS defensive screwups that the umps then missed the calls on, almost inciting a riot at Fenway. “Pick up the ball.” Huge home runs in the 1998 & 1999 World Series. The Lonnie Smith thing in the 1991 World Series. this Federal Marshall chaos fits right in.

  43. Chuck Not Block

    Leave Chuck Alone! He has done nothing wrong! What can he be other than a distraction at the hearing?

  44. wicket

    HGH:

    The reporter was Thayer Evans of the Times not Tyler Kepner. Surprisingly, Knoblaugh lives in Houston, like every other Yankee accused of doing steroids. Pettitte, Clemens etc. Does anybody know if the Big G has a house in Houston as well?

    Anyway, here’s the link to the NY Times story at the end of which Chuckie has one request for the reporter: “Don’t tell anybody where I live [especially the Feds].”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/11/sports/baseball/11clemens.html?em&ex=1200200400&en=307a7f15ea27ee41&ei=5087%0A

  45. wicket

    HGH:

    The reporter was Thayer Evans of the Times not Tyler Kepner. Surprisingly, Knoblauch lives in Houston, like every other Yankee accused of doing steroids. Pettitte, Clemens etc. Does anybody know if the Big G has a house in Houston as well?

    Anyway, here’s the link to the NY Times story at the end of which Chuckie has one request for the reporter: “Don’t tell anybody where I live [especially the Feds].”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/11/sports/baseball/11clemens.html?em&ex=1200200400&en=307a7f15ea27ee41&ei=5087%0A

  46. robbie cano

    hahaha come on chuck, when you are trying to discreetly make it to canada, hit the drive dawg

  47. robbie cano

    drive-through*

  48. Mike

    I guess Chuck Knoblauch has become Colonel Markinson

  49. Paul

    Pete — Service of Process or a Subpoena can be hard when the person you’re trying to find is ducking service, since the subpoena has to be actually delivered to the actual person. As a private lawyer, when I’ve been able to devote resources 100% to finding and serving someone, this can take lots of time and be very frustrating.

    Knoblauch (along with the rest of the world) knew a subpoena was coming in advance. The US Marshals have lots on their plate already and probably can’t devote anyone full time to hunting down Knoblauch. They’ve probably visited his home a few times and some other places he usually can be found at, but that’s all they can do.

    In my experience, US Marshals are dedicated and professional people. I’d be surprised if the Marshals were doing anything other than their best under the circumstances.

    Pete, you’re a good, fair-minded, and interesting guy. Why don’t you (with the resources of your newspaper behind you) try to hunt Knoblauch down? If you find him before the Marshals do, then maybe you can critique the Marshals’ performance — taking into account that they have other assignments as well. If you won’t, then I think it’s as unfair for you to call out the Marshals as it would be for me to go through everything you’ve written, single out all the wrong trade calls you’ve made, and conclude that you don’t know one end of a baseball bat from the other.

    All the best, and BTW I’ve really enjoyed the guest blogger month.

  50. F Stan

    Maybe they should look for Chuckie in and around the
    Fenway Clubhouse….. Mitchel’s Gestapo would never look for anyone there… The BoSox are clean as Mitchel’s Whistle

  51. saucy

    Good luck to Jaret Wright and Chucky. i liked Jaret, even though i never understood the signing. expect him on their major league roster.

  52. saucy

    thanks for the link cupaJOBA. that blog looks neat.

  53. Rockin' Rich

    He’s hiding in my basement along with Judge Crater and Amelia Earhart.

  54. Drew

    Knobby’s probably in Mexico by now.

  55. Hideki Balboni

    Chuck was quoted in a New York Times article last week as saying, “Don’t tell anybody where I live.”

    http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/11/sports/baseball/11clemens.html?_r=1&scp=4&sq=chuck+knoblauch&st=nyt&oref=slogin

  56. J-Dawg

    I think that Chuck could be hiding out with D.B. Cooper somewhere in the Pacific Northwest.

  57. Scott

    Knoblauch, Ankiel, Hundley were all on the report. What do they all have in common?

    All lost the ability to throw the ball.

    Coincidence? Probably…if I believed in coincidences….and I don’t.

  58. UtilityMan

    Josh Phelps is now with the Cardinals.
    and
    Nick Green is on a minor league deal with the Yanks.

  59. Frank Discussion

    I saw Knoblauch hiding behind the grassy knoll…

  60. Mean Gene

    This “Pat” person knows nothing about baseball. The Pirates typically can’t afford Yankee castoffs. Wright will probably be our big free-agent signing of 2008. And 2009. Wright’s signing will probably cause hot dog prices to rise by a buck at PNC Park. Not that he’ll ever pitch there, of course.

    Odd that Congress is so adamant that Chuck Knoblauch testify, yet they don’t seem to care that Josh Bolton and Harriet Miers haven’t come to testify about their high crimes and misdemeanors. Even as we speak, our democracy swirls down the toilet.

  61. Ross (nyystadiuminsider.com)

    NYY Stadium Insider invites you to play:

    Where’s Knobby:

    http://nyystadiuminsider.com/2008/01/wheres-knobby.html

  62. Mr Ephraim

    has anyone looked here

    http://hcad.org/records/details.asp?tab=3&bld=1&card=1&taxyear=2007&acct=0790310000008

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Peter AbrahamPeter Abraham is the Yankees beat writer for The Journal News and LoHud.com. E-mail me at pabraham@lohud.com

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