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A match made in baseball heaven: Jesus Montero and John Sterling

Posted by: Peter Abraham - Posted in Misc on Mar 01, 2008 Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post

I didn’t get to see it in person, but heard that Jesus Montero crushed one today. Which got me thinking: Once he gets to the big leagues, what will John Sterling’s home run call be?

Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it’s gone!

And Jesus performs a miracle!

Jesus smacked that like a money-changer!

Holy Cow, it’s Jesus!

An A-bomb from Jesus!

Help me Jeeeeeeesus!

Praise Jesus!

It boggles the mind as to what John could up with. See what you come up with and I’ll forward him the best idea.

(Yes, I know it’s pronounced “Hay-Zeus.” I’m just having some fun)





66 Responses to “A match made in baseball heaven: Jesus Montero and John Sterling”

  1. eric March 1st, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Praise Him!

  2. Tseng March 1st, 2008 at 8:02 pm

    How about an old fashioned “Jesus Christ!”

  3. Tseng March 1st, 2008 at 8:03 pm

    Or “THAT’S what Jesus would do!”

  4. Doreen March 1st, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    This is all fun, but isn’t the name PRONOUNCED “hey-zuce”?

  5. mommy March 1st, 2008 at 8:06 pm

    Holy Homer, Jesus hit that one to heaven!

  6. Stu H March 1st, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Jesus (pronounced hay-soos) can you see!

  7. Josh March 1st, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Jesus just Christianized that one!

    Merry Christmas New York!

  8. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Mission 2708 March 1st, 2008 at 8:08 pm


    Holy cow is definitley Rizzuto territory so I don’t think it’s kosher.

    how about something like the old fashinoned

    “Thank Jesus, AMEN!”

    Or, more punnish,

    “Oh, that’s a beautitude!”

    I’m sure someone else will come up with something better.

  9. Dr. Cox March 1st, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    Is there a reason my posts are being deleted?

  10. Brian March 1st, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    Wait, I have to ask, having only seen his name in print.
    Are we saying “Jee-zus Montero” or “Hay-soos Montero”? Or, what does Momma Montero call him?

  11. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Mission 2708 March 1st, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    I’m assuming it’s Hey-zus.

  12. MikeEff - Shelley at First March 1st, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    how about just ” Jesus Saves!”

  13. brockdc March 1st, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    It is accomplished!

  14. Peter Abraham March 1st, 2008 at 8:21 pm

    Dr. Cox:

    No simulated cursing please. Kids, grandmothers, etc. all reading. Keep it clean.

  15. Joe from Long Island March 1st, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    “Praise Jesus!”

  16. RosterRooster March 1st, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Transforming baseballs into souvenirs right before our eyes, its Jesus!

  17. Frankie Yankee March 1st, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    Don’t mess with the Jesus.

    Jesus blesses another one.

  18. nyyfaninlaaland March 1st, 2008 at 8:23 pm

    Hey Zeus hits one over Mt. Olympus.

    Got tired of the Christian ones.

    This all reminds me – dating myself here – of the old hockey joke:

    Jesus Saves… but Esposito scores on the rebound.

  19. Basura March 1st, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Maybe Sterling will sneak in the old baseball joke:

    1. Someone sees graffiti on a wall: Jesus is the Answer

    2. Someone else writes under it: What is the question?

    3. A third person comes by and writes: What’s the name of Felipe and Matty Alou’s brother?

    Oh well. I thought it was funny decades ago.

  20. RosterRooster March 1st, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    Also, wouldnt it be great if he got 40somethings, and 40whatevers one year. think about it

  21. Dr. Cox March 1st, 2008 at 8:27 pm



    but it was a quote from the Big Lebowski. And it was highly censored.

  22. Doreen March 1st, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Basura -

    I remember that joke! Thanks. :)

    And nyyinlaaland -

    Thanks for secularizing. :)

  23. Dr. Dorian March 1st, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    Jesus H. Montero!

  24. MikeEff - Shelley at First March 1st, 2008 at 8:30 pm

    Dr. Dorian:


  25. Mike R. March 1st, 2008 at 8:42 pm

    “That ball is crucified!”

    I think it is mildly offensive enough for Sterling.

  26. Florida Yank March 1st, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    Regardless of what he’s eventually tagged with, he’s the real deal. He’s a good kid not overwhelmed with his 1st big league spring training and doing all the drills Tony Pena puts all catchers through.
    For an 18 year old, he’s a patient, mature hitter and with a swing similar to A-Rod’s.
    He knows he’ll start the year at Low A Charlston but it should surprise no team official if he’s at High A Tampa by June.

  27. Yankee Fan in Boston March 1st, 2008 at 8:49 pm

    Jesus (Hey Zues), Olympus called, they want their bat back!

  28. JOE March 1st, 2008 at 8:50 pm

    He should start at Tampa.
    As far as the call is concerned:
    “Another miracle by JesuS”!!

  29. Mike R. March 1st, 2008 at 8:56 pm

    Joe – I disagree. Kyle Anson deserves a shot there. Plus it is not wise to rush catchers, his bat is amazing, but he still needs some work behind the plate.

  30. Frank F March 1st, 2008 at 9:03 pm

    ….it is high, it is long, it is a fair way to heaven!

  31. Drew March 1st, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    Hey Zeus, with a lightning bolt.

    Whatever Sterling were to come up with it, it couldn’t be any worse than his “Home run by Guiel, look at him smile”.

  32. Scott Coulter March 1st, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    How about, “A J-Bomb, from Hay-sus!” Okay, lame. Sorry. How about, “Give that one the last rites, it’s a goner…”

  33. AlexCT March 1st, 2008 at 9:19 pm

    WOW, That’s what Jesus would do is a great one. hit it to heaven isn’t bad either. Tseng wins.

  34. jennifer-Phil Hughes saved!! March 1st, 2008 at 9:33 pm

    Hey ZEUS just sent a bolt of lighting out of here.

  35. jennifer-Phil Hughes saved!! March 1st, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Drew you best me to it. :cry:

  36. Jake March 1st, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    “Hay-Zues rounds the Base-zeus”

    “Jesus has left the building”

    “Jesus served that ball like communnion”….ahh that maybe too touchy and uncatchy anyway.

    “Jesus leads to the promised land”

    “That ball was a sinner”

  37. yanksrule57 March 1st, 2008 at 9:47 pm

    Tseng’s “Oh, that’s what Jesus would do.” Made me laugh out loud. That gets my vote.

  38. kevin March 1st, 2008 at 9:56 pm

    Oh God!
    It’s Armagheden!
    Jesus H. Christ!
    A home run of Biblical proportions!
    A Bible Blast!
    A Satanic Slam!

    Sorry – I’ve had a couple of beers.

  39. Sean Serritella Yankees Daily March 1st, 2008 at 9:57 pm

    It looks like you gave him an idea and I bet he uses it.

  40. Yankee Dudel March 1st, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    “Jesus nailed that one”

    “Praise Je-sus”

    “In the name of the father, the son and the HOLY COW!”

  41. John March 1st, 2008 at 10:07 pm

    And, you will know his name is ‘Hay-Suess’ when he lays his power upon thee!

    Jesus Juiced One…

    You can’t sneak a fastball by Jesus…

  42. Danny Baseball March 1st, 2008 at 10:19 pm

    Water to wine, Jesus is divine!

  43. Travis G. March 1st, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    and we know every time he comes up, Sterling will go: “What WILL Jesus do?”

  44. D-Lew March 1st, 2008 at 10:32 pm

    How about, “… that one was hammered by the Jewish carpenter…brought to you from the Lowe’s broadcast booth…”

  45. Lokomo69 March 1st, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    Oh sweet Jesus, Monty just sent that one to the big guy upstairs

  46. John Friedman March 1st, 2008 at 11:00 pm

    It’s a haymaker!
    From Jesus!

  47. Ricky Rios March 1st, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    and what happens when Jesus sacrifices?

  48. gayle March 1st, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    Ok this is pretty off kilter but what about

    Jesus Montero HOT AS A JABENERO (needes to little squiggly thing above the n)

  49. Roy Hobbs March 1st, 2008 at 11:24 pm

    Jesus has risen to the occasion!

  50. Roy Hobbs March 1st, 2008 at 11:26 pm

    Jesus is just alright (with apologies to the Doobie Brothers)

  51. Drew March 2nd, 2008 at 12:12 am

    Since Jorge has become Georgie..they’ll probably call him Jessie

  52. Gustavo March 2nd, 2008 at 2:19 am

    Jesus is coming! around the bases!

  53. A.B.K March 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 am

    It is high, its it far, It’s gone, can you believe it, Jesus juiced one!

  54. Dissident In Red Sox Nation March 2nd, 2008 at 3:42 am

    If only he was a closer…Imagine Sterling dropping “Jesus Saves” after every Yankees win.
    For a batter I like “Jesus (anglo pronunciation) He hit the hell out of that one”

  55. Joel March 2nd, 2008 at 3:43 am

    “Jesus nails another one!”

    Or, if he lets a ball skip by him when he’s catching…

    “Looks like Jesus got crossed-up.”

  56. crawdaddie March 2nd, 2008 at 5:52 am

    Jesus “The Mountain” Montero has a chance to be a special kind of player.

  57. Kevin P March 2nd, 2008 at 6:01 am

    Swung on and driven to deep left. It is high, it is far, it is GONE!!!

    “A Montero Message to the Greek Gods – HEY ZEUS”

  58. muccini March 2nd, 2008 at 8:37 am

    Jesus All Mighthy

  59. Paul March 2nd, 2008 at 9:23 am

    “All hail the power of Jesus’ game”

    “Jesus shall reign” on the upper deck

    “Fairest Lord Jesus” (if it hits the foul pole)

    “Jesus wept” (for a K)

  60. dmm March 2nd, 2008 at 10:01 am

    Dont take the Lord’s name in vain…How bout that approach?

    The name Jesus is sacred. Montero can crush em all day but sterling would be wise to avoid links to Jesus Christ…

  61. Paul March 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Lighten up. People have been making jokes about biblical phrases and hymns for a very long time, and I sure hope our good Lord and our Savior know the difference between nhaving a laugh and using their names to curse. The point here is joking about JS’s style.

    Moreover, if he hits one out to beat Anaheim, JS can say “All hail the power of Jesus’ game, Let Angels prostrate fall.”

  62. nyystadiuminsider NICK March 2nd, 2008 at 11:38 am

    Good thing you’re a reporter and not a comedian.

  63. ryanloghry March 2nd, 2008 at 11:41 am

    I vote for THAT’S what Jesus would do. And: Jesus has left the building.

    Nice work guys. And gals.

    I remember when we signed him, first thing I did was shoot an email to my sister saying “Jesus is a Yankee!” haha… I know, very creative.

  64. Skippy March 2nd, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    I can’t predict exactly what it will be, but I’m betting that Sterling will come up with something slightly inept and vaguely inappropriate.

  65. Ant928 March 2nd, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Jesus Hammers!

    One from Jesus…up the stairway to Heaven and out!!

    Jesus crucifies that one (sure, burn me now :) )!!!

    Jesus delivers to the masses!

    Jesus blesses one!!

  66. Joe March 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm

    Since he’s supposed to be taking over for Posada..
    “Jesus juiced one!”

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