A match made in baseball heaven: Jesus Montero and John Sterling
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- March
- 1
I didn’t get to see it in person, but heard that Jesus Montero crushed one today. Which got me thinking: Once he gets to the big leagues, what will John Sterling’s home run call be?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph, it’s gone!
And Jesus performs a miracle!
Jesus smacked that like a money-changer!
Holy Cow, it’s Jesus!
An A-bomb from Jesus!
Help me Jeeeeeeesus!
Praise Jesus!
It boggles the mind as to what John could up with. See what you come up with and I’ll forward him the best idea.
(Yes, I know it’s pronounced “Hay-Zeus.” I’m just having some fun)
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on Saturday, March 1st, 2008 at 7:55 pm by Peter Abraham.
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Peter Abraham
Praise Him!
How about an old fashioned “Jesus Christ!”
Or “THAT’S what Jesus would do!”
This is all fun, but isn’t the name PRONOUNCED “hey-zuce”?
Holy Homer, Jesus hit that one to heaven!
Jesus (pronounced hay-soos) can you see!
Jesus just Christianized that one!
Merry Christmas New York!
Hmmm…
Holy cow is definitley Rizzuto territory so I don’t think it’s kosher.
how about something like the old fashinoned
“Thank Jesus, AMEN!”
Or, more punnish,
“Oh, that’s a beautitude!”
I’m sure someone else will come up with something better.
Is there a reason my posts are being deleted?
Wait, I have to ask, having only seen his name in print.
Are we saying “Jee-zus Montero” or “Hay-soos Montero”? Or, what does Momma Montero call him?
I’m assuming it’s Hey-zus.
how about just ” Jesus Saves!”
It is accomplished!
Dr. Cox:
No simulated cursing please. Kids, grandmothers, etc. all reading. Keep it clean.
“Praise Jesus!”
Transforming baseballs into souvenirs right before our eyes, its Jesus!
Don’t mess with the Jesus.
Jesus blesses another one.
Hey Zeus hits one over Mt. Olympus.
Got tired of the Christian ones.
This all reminds me - dating myself here - of the old hockey joke:
Jesus Saves… but Esposito scores on the rebound.
Maybe Sterling will sneak in the old baseball joke:
1. Someone sees graffiti on a wall: Jesus is the Answer
2. Someone else writes under it: What is the question?
3. A third person comes by and writes: What’s the name of Felipe and Matty Alou’s brother?
Oh well. I thought it was funny decades ago.
Also, wouldnt it be great if he got 40somethings, and 40whatevers one year. think about it
Pete:
Sorry.
but it was a quote from the Big Lebowski. And it was highly censored.
Basura -
I remember that joke! Thanks.
And nyyinlaaland -
Thanks for secularizing.
Jesus H. Montero!
Dr. Dorian:
I THINK YOU WIN. LOVE IT
“That ball is crucified!”
I think it is mildly offensive enough for Sterling.
Regardless of what he’s eventually tagged with, he’s the real deal. He’s a good kid not overwhelmed with his 1st big league spring training and doing all the drills Tony Pena puts all catchers through.
For an 18 year old, he’s a patient, mature hitter and with a swing similar to A-Rod’s.
He knows he’ll start the year at Low A Charlston but it should surprise no team official if he’s at High A Tampa by June.
Jesus (Hey Zues), Olympus called, they want their bat back!
He should start at Tampa.
As far as the call is concerned:
“Another miracle by JesuS”!!
Joe - I disagree. Kyle Anson deserves a shot there. Plus it is not wise to rush catchers, his bat is amazing, but he still needs some work behind the plate.
….it is high, it is long, it is a fair way to heaven!
Hey Zeus, with a lightning bolt.
Whatever Sterling were to come up with it, it couldn’t be any worse than his “Home run by Guiel, look at him smile”.
How about, “A J-Bomb, from Hay-sus!” Okay, lame. Sorry. How about, “Give that one the last rites, it’s a goner…”
WOW, That’s what Jesus would do is a great one. hit it to heaven isn’t bad either. Tseng wins.
Hey ZEUS just sent a bolt of lighting out of here.
Drew you best me to it.
“Hay-Zues rounds the Base-zeus”
“Jesus has left the building”
“Jesus served that ball like communnion”….ahh that maybe too touchy and uncatchy anyway.
“Jesus leads to the promised land”
“That ball was a sinner”
Tseng’s “Oh, that’s what Jesus would do.” Made me laugh out loud. That gets my vote.
Oh God!
It’s Armagheden!
Jesus H. Christ!
A home run of Biblical proportions!
A Bible Blast!
A Satanic Slam!
Sorry - I’ve had a couple of beers.
It looks like you gave him an idea and I bet he uses it.
“Jesus nailed that one”
“Praise Je-sus”
“In the name of the father, the son and the HOLY COW!”
And, you will know his name is ‘Hay-Suess’ when he lays his power upon thee!
Jesus Juiced One…
You can’t sneak a fastball by Jesus…
Water to wine, Jesus is divine!
and we know every time he comes up, Sterling will go: “What WILL Jesus do?”
How about, “… that one was hammered by the Jewish carpenter…brought to you from the Lowe’s broadcast booth…”
Oh sweet Jesus, Monty just sent that one to the big guy upstairs
It’s a haymaker!
From Jesus!
and what happens when Jesus sacrifices?
Ok this is pretty off kilter but what about
Jesus Montero HOT AS A JABENERO (needes to little squiggly thing above the n)
Jesus has risen to the occasion!
Jesus is just alright (with apologies to the Doobie Brothers)
Since Jorge has become Georgie..they’ll probably call him Jessie
Jesus is coming! around the bases!
It is high, its it far, It’s gone, can you believe it, Jesus juiced one!
If only he was a closer…Imagine Sterling dropping “Jesus Saves” after every Yankees win.
For a batter I like “Jesus (anglo pronunciation) He hit the hell out of that one”
“Jesus nails another one!”
Or, if he lets a ball skip by him when he’s catching…
“Looks like Jesus got crossed-up.”
Jesus “The Mountain” Montero has a chance to be a special kind of player.
Swung on and driven to deep left. It is high, it is far, it is GONE!!!
“A Montero Message to the Greek Gods - HEY ZEUS”
Jesus All Mighthy
“All hail the power of Jesus’ game”
“Jesus shall reign” on the upper deck
“Fairest Lord Jesus” (if it hits the foul pole)
“Jesus wept” (for a K)
Dont take the Lord’s name in vain…How bout that approach?
The name Jesus is sacred. Montero can crush em all day but sterling would be wise to avoid links to Jesus Christ…
Lighten up. People have been making jokes about biblical phrases and hymns for a very long time, and I sure hope our good Lord and our Savior know the difference between nhaving a laugh and using their names to curse. The point here is joking about JS’s style.
Moreover, if he hits one out to beat Anaheim, JS can say “All hail the power of Jesus’ game, Let Angels prostrate fall.”
http://www.oremus.org/hymnal/a/a116.html
Good thing you’re a reporter and not a comedian.
I vote for THAT’S what Jesus would do. And: Jesus has left the building.
Nice work guys. And gals.
I remember when we signed him, first thing I did was shoot an email to my sister saying “Jesus is a Yankee!” haha… I know, very creative.
I can’t predict exactly what it will be, but I’m betting that Sterling will come up with something slightly inept and vaguely inappropriate.
Jesus Hammers!
One from Jesus…up the stairway to Heaven and out!!
Jesus crucifies that one (sure, burn me now
)!!!
Jesus delivers to the masses!
Jesus blesses one!!
Since he’s supposed to be taking over for Posada..
“Jesus juiced one!”