Cynthia Rodriguez filed for divorce today from Alex Rodriguez.
Only 34, C-Rod is a good-looking woman who will soon have millions and a few mansions. Lenny Kravitz claims they are just friends, so Cynthia is back on the market.
Who will she end up with next? Here are some possibilities:
Derek Jeter: It makes perfect sense. Jeter always has what A-Rod wants. What better way to drive him even crazier than to marry his ex-wife and make her happy? Plus he has his own cologne, so he smells good all the time.
Jose Canseco: Jose needs a sugar-mama given all his financial woes. Plus he believes that A-Rod once went after his wife. Hooking up with C-Rod would be perfect revenge.
Brett Gardner: He needs a place to stay in the city. Plus he delivers in the clutch. That’ll be a nice change for her.
Hank Steinbrenner: This is all part of the Yankees Master Plan. If Hank marries C-Rod, he gets control of half of A-Rod’s money. Suddenly A-Rod is playing for the Yankees for only $16 million a year instead of $32 million. Brilliant! But Cynthia may not let him smoke around the kids.
Scott Boras: The super agent is already married. But he must have an opt-out clause. If Cynthia wants to get back at A-Rod, what better way than to date somebody he is already mad at?
Alex Cora: Why in the world would Cynthia want to marry Boston’s backup shortstop? For her daughters. A-Rod actually gave his girls the middle name of “Alexander.” At least if she marries Cora, they won’t grow up too confused.
Howie Clark: Ha!
Barry Bonds: Great home run hitter, misunderstood by the media, worth millions. It’ll be just like she is used to.
Jason Varitek: The undeserving All-Star catcher from Boston is high on the Enemies of A-Rod list. But will he take his mask off?