The LoHud Yankees Blog

A New York Yankees blog by Chad Jennings and the staff of The Journal News


Twas The Night Before Yankee Christmas

Posted by: Peter Abraham - Posted in Misc on Dec 24, 2008 Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post

(With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore)

Twas the night before Christmas, and the Yanks had a party
All had a good time, even straight-laced Girardi.
The stirrups were hung by the clubhouse with care
Would Pavano show up? He better not dare.

The rookies were nestled, all snug in Triple-A
With the money being spent, now’s not their day.
Suzyn in her ‘kerchief and John in his cap,
Had just settled in for some more baseball rap.

When out on River Ave., there arose such a clatter
They sent Hank Steinbrenner to see what was a matter.
He grumbled at first, ’til Hal kicked his fanny,
And reminded his brother that he wouldn’t get Manny.

The streets were all white with a new-fallen snow
As Melky did a dance with Robbie Cano.
Would that help signal a new Yankees era?
Better yet, a surprise. It’s Mark Teixeira!

The pale little GM had gone in all the way
and swiped him from Boston in only one day.
More rapid than Damon, Cash made all his moves
He whistled and shouted and gave all the news.

“Now CC, now AJ, now Nick and Marte!”
“Pitch and play defense, please save the day!
To the top of the East, back to the Series.
We’ve seen enough of the Tampa Bay Rays!”

As Brett Gardner to second base does fly
The Yanks still knew, Jeter was the main guy.
At shortstop his range is no longer nifty.
But don’t mention that to the Maxim Top 50.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard in the cold
The wheeze and the cough of a woman quite old
Who could be here for this Christmas nirvana?
It’s A-Rod and his good friend, the singer Madonna.

He was tanned all aglow, that good-looking guy
And his hair was quite blonde, thanks to Frederic Fekkai
His opt out last year amounted to treason
But in the end, he still had a good season.

Joba’s eyes, how they twinkled, his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His fastball was blazing, dipping and diving
Please, we all beg you, no more drunk driving.

Old friends are here, like Mike Mussina
He’s over there with Jose Molina.
Wang and Bruney snacked on some cheese
While Edwar Ramirez avoided a breeze.

Posada was there, singing away
His shoulder was better, Doc Hershon did say
Without him last season seemed incomplete
We’ll see in spring training – he can throw 90 feet?

Santa finally arrived, his laugh was quite hearty
But something was off, he seemed kind of sweaty.
We knew who it was, all did agree.
Not old St. Nick, it was The Big G!

I know, I know, this is pretty lame.
But unlike last year, it isn’t the same.
So let me say here, as we light the Yule log
Thank you, as always, for reading my blog.

————

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you and your families.

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