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A New York Yankees blog by Chad Jennings and the staff of The Journal News


Pinch hitting: Respect Jeter’s Gangster

Posted by: Peter Abraham - Posted in Misc on Jan 02, 2009 Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post

January is traditionally a slow month for baseball news. So for the second year in a row, we will showcase other blogs with a series of pinch hitters.

Next up are the guys from Respect Jeter’s Gangster.

According to them, “the blog started last January at the behest of fans, columnists, sportswriters, Oprah’s book club, ballplayers, Senator Mitchell, and the Nobel Committee for Literature. Everyone was clamoring for someone to fill the void of Yankees blogs relating to the respect of Jeter’s gangster. None existed, until the courage of Fernando Alejandro, Roberto Alejandro, and Deron Peter forced them to act against the injustice. Besides being a Yankees blog, our investigative reporting team has time and again broken the stories that the papers missed. These include Joba Chamberlain’s fist pumping scandal, Brian Cashman’s insensitive means of demoting his players, and many others. If you would like to read these stories, please stop by our site.

Here’s their post:

————

Kei Igawa Uses Leverage to Undo Cameron Trade

A number of weeks ago many people thought that the Melky Cabrera and Mike Cameron deal was going through. It was then reported that the Yankees were including Kei Igawa in the deal, and that it was now a matter of how much money the Brewers were willing to take on. Then, the trade talks seemed to fall apart completely. Some speculate that Melky Cabrera’s hot start in the Dominican winter league was the cause of the apparent break down in interest from the Yankees, but the Respect Jeter’s Gangster investigative team found another reason.

“I’ve never folded under pressure,” said Yankees co-chairperson Hank Steinbrenner. “But this was something different.”

Steinbrenner, who has looked to trade Igawa since his troubled beginning, found himself unable to make the trade because of the unusual leverage Igawa had over him.

“I got home one day,” Hank said, “and I was going through my mail and I found a letter without a return address. I opened it up, and all it said was ‘If you trade me, I will punch your horse.’ It included a picture of my prize horse Tornado Thunder and a masked person wearing a boxing glove. I couldn’t tell it was Kei Igawa, but I suspected it was him.”

As trade talks with Milwaukee intensified, so did the letters.

“The next one I got pretty much said the same thing,” Hank said. “That if I traded him he would punch my horse, but this time he specified ‘in the face.’ I have to admit I started sweating a little. Included in the envelope was a strand of what appeared to be a lock of Tornado Thunder’s hair. I had the letter tested for DNA and it came up positive for Tornado Thunder and Barry Bonds. I didn’t know what to make of that.”

Authorities first thought that the finding of Bonds DNA was evidence that Bonds was behind the letter. However, a later letter erased that theory.

“The last letter I got had a picture of my horse again with a black eye colored in with a pen. It was so realistic. He used purple and black ink to really bring out the deepness of the bruise,” Steinbrenner said. “He even drew horns on my horse, like it was evil. The letter said, ‘If you trade me, your horse will be possessed by a demon.’ Sincerely, Kei Igawa. P.S., I’m still going to punch it in the face.’ It had Igawa’s fingerprint on the picture, and he included a newspaper cutout of Alex Rodriguez with drawn on sunglasses and a pipe in his mouth. It didn’t make any sense. Then we did a second DNA test, and got matches for Lonn Trost, our finance guy. I’m not sure how he gets all this DNA.”

Once this picture arrived, Hank decided to pull the plug.

“I could barely deal with my horse getting punched in the eye, never min demonic possession,” Hank paused, fighting back his emotions. “I saw Emily Rose. Enough said.”

————

Thanks to Fernando, Roberto and Deron. They’ve been supporters of this blog for a long time and I appreciate it. Coming tomorrow: This Purist Bleeds Pinstripes.

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122 Responses to “Pinch hitting: Respect Jeter’s Gangster”

  1. Pel January 2nd, 2009 at 12:18 am

    “The next one I got pretty much said the same thing,” Hank said. “That if I traded him he would punch my horse, *but this time* he specified ‘*in the face*.’
    —-

    lol

  2. gianthinker January 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 am

    Let me be honest, I hate these pinch hit articles. I will say however that this is the first pinch hit article that I’ve enjoyed. To be real, it was pointless. But it made me laugh and instead of reading some crazy theory on Damon being the greatest Yankee signing of all time or something like that I’m glad this was a satire piece to lighten things up. Thanx.

  3. gianthinker January 2nd, 2009 at 12:20 am

    Question—Isn’t Igawa about the right size to be a jockey?

  4. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Staying to write the story January 2nd, 2009 at 12:20 am

    These guys are hysterical. Their blog is one of my favorites.

  5. cgar January 2nd, 2009 at 12:21 am

    wow… i will not be visiting their blog

  6. Pel January 2nd, 2009 at 12:22 am

    BTW, to whomever ruined text formatting for the comments on this blog: you suck. Seriously, is it really too much to let us use HTML?

    >:(

  7. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 12:39 am

    Wow! I’ve never visited their blog but this will be the last time I can say that. Great stuff!

  8. Brandon (CC & AJ now Marky Mark (they stilled over paid him) are Yankees) January 2nd, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Respect Jeter’s Gangster is hilarious anyone who hasn’t read that blog needs to read the Carl Pavano Diary entries. :lol:

  9. RalphieD January 2nd, 2009 at 12:54 am

    interesting…very very interesting

  10. YanksFan January 2nd, 2009 at 12:55 am

    gianthinker:

    You wrote, “Question—-Isn’t Igawa about the right size to be a jockey?”

    The man is 6-foot-1, 205 lbs.

    Ask yourself why you wrote what you wrote.

  11. james January 2nd, 2009 at 12:55 am

    dude that was funny

  12. george January 2nd, 2009 at 12:59 am

    That post just wasn’t very funny. And if you’re going to go in that direction, it has to be funny. I feel like that was a complete waste of time reading that garbage.

    And I’ve been on their blog, its got some good stuff. This particular post just wasn’t in that category.

  13. Brandon (CC & AJ now Marky Mark (they stilled over paid him) are Yankees) January 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 am

    http://respectjetersgangster.b.....rview.html

    This one is a classic in it’s own way.

  14. NDYANKEE January 2nd, 2009 at 1:19 am

    RJG’s a hilarious blog, but they didn’t really rise to the occasion on this one…

  15. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Staying to write the story January 2nd, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Harsh crowd tonight. Guess people are still working off their New Years’ hangovers…

  16. Edgar January 2nd, 2009 at 1:28 am

    That was a whole lotta nothing. What a crap post.

    River Ave. Blues was far far better. Hope to get some better ones in the future.

  17. NDYANKEE January 2nd, 2009 at 1:32 am

    Rebecca:
    “Harsh crowd tonight. Guess people are still working off their New Years’ hangovers…”

    I can’t speak for anyone else, but I don’t drink.

    RJG is one of my favorite blogs. IMO, this post tried hard to be funny, but it didn’t really happen.

  18. harwood January 2nd, 2009 at 1:36 am

    “iih iif ii ..caught” is another good one

  19. Buddy Biancalana January 2nd, 2009 at 1:41 am

    It was mildly amusing, not terrible though.

  20. Ed - American League, prepare to be scared! CC, Aj, and MT!! January 2nd, 2009 at 1:42 am

    Rebeeca,

    I’m here. I dealt with my hung over all day today. lol

  21. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Staying to write the story January 2nd, 2009 at 1:45 am

    Ed: Heh, I was in Times Square last night (without gloves, too!), I’m still working off the hypothermia.

    And if you don’t believe me, I have the pictures to prove it!

  22. Buddy Biancalana January 2nd, 2009 at 1:46 am

    Rebecca-

    Were you the one heckling Kathy Griffin? That was funny!

  23. BINNER January 2nd, 2009 at 1:46 am

    What a waste of 5 minutes of my life. I wish I could have it back….

    The River Ave Blues post was great. This was a bunch of cr*p. I don’t want bad Saturday night live posts, I want Yankee info….

    -BINNER

  24. Andrea January 2nd, 2009 at 1:47 am

    Seriously–funniest blog ever.

  25. Ed - American League, prepare to be scared! CC, Aj, and MT!! January 2nd, 2009 at 1:51 am

    Rebecca,

    you crazy for going to Times Square. I was at St. Marks, and my hands were literally frozen from talking on the phone. that’s what I get for not wearing gloves. LOL, how long you stayed in Times?

  26. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Staying to write the story January 2nd, 2009 at 1:51 am

    Buddy: Nah, I didn’t even know she was there. My boyfriend and I and our friends were on maybe 54th, 56th street? We had a clear view of the ball, but we couldn’t see anyone performing or anything.

  27. Andrea January 2nd, 2009 at 2:04 am

    I’m currently watching MLB network. It’s glorious.

  28. Patrick January 2nd, 2009 at 2:05 am

    Lots of hate for this post but I thought it was really funny. Good job..

  29. Rebecca--Optimist Prime--Staying to write the story January 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 am

    Ed: About three hours.

  30. Aaron January 2nd, 2009 at 2:35 am

    cant wait to read Tomorrows i like her blog.

  31. tiddy January 2nd, 2009 at 3:18 am

    so lame

  32. dave January 2nd, 2009 at 3:37 am

    UMM i think everyone in this blog became dumber from reading that post – i award you no points and my god have mercy on your soul.

  33. Chris January 2nd, 2009 at 3:43 am

    I thought it was initially very funny, but it quickly wore out its welcome.

  34. Guiseppe Franco January 2nd, 2009 at 3:45 am

    Yeah, I’m not going to berate these guys for making the effort – but I don’t consider it first rate material.

  35. Paco Dooley January 2nd, 2009 at 6:34 am

    Just not funny. I miss Pete…

  36. gnarly January 2nd, 2009 at 7:32 am

    yeah…um….NEXT!!!

  37. JimPA January 2nd, 2009 at 7:36 am

    To everybody who thinks the blog sucked- take a pill. It’s January 2. What are you looking for? There’s no news out there that hasn’t already been analyzed and re-analyzed, VORP’d and OPS’d to death. This was comedy, and it was great. Hank already reminds me of the Seinfeld Steinbrenner, and I could just picture him carrying on about those mysterious letters. Good stuff.

  38. sevrox January 2nd, 2009 at 7:40 am

    Provocative, yet well-seasoned.

  39. gnarly January 2nd, 2009 at 7:47 am

    jimpa….o THATS what it was….now i get it…hahaha

  40. Jeremy January 2nd, 2009 at 7:50 am

    I read the post, and then I read the comments and I see there is a debate over whether the post is funny. I cannot decide this issue for myself and need help. Please, someone needs to provide a sentence-by-sentence breakdown of this post so we can finally understand which parts work and which parts aren’t funny. I expect to see footnotes and a comprehensive bibliography.

  41. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 7:56 am

    Don’t read other blogs so never read anything from RJ’sG, but I thought that was absolutely hysterical!

    TS, case ya didn’t see it, I gave you lovin back in the Happy New Year’s post.

    :)

  42. ham_fighters January 2nd, 2009 at 8:00 am

    thats 0-for-2, who’s up tomorrow?

  43. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 8:03 am

    Rebecca

  44. DAVE January 2nd, 2009 at 8:04 am

    In Japan, raw horsemeat is more of a delicassey than Kobe Beef. If “Circle K” rounds up that horse, better break out the wasabi.

  45. DAVE January 2nd, 2009 at 8:06 am

    Raw horsemeat is called Basashi in Japanese. Shashimi is raw fish.

  46. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 8:10 am

    The article was a take it or leave it. If anyone can do better, start a blog and submit it to PA, but, no reason for the bashing. If you feel the need to bash an article…go to the last subject and bash some idiot named Zaki and his linked articles. After you finish laughing….rip the idiot all day long. That guy’s worthy of a good Yankee fan’s thrashing.

  47. Tom January 2nd, 2009 at 8:12 am

    “if I traded him he would punch my horse, but this time he specified ‘in the face.’”

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_RKPGS2vwM

  48. gnarly January 2nd, 2009 at 8:14 am

    i forgot gb is the one who decides who to rip and when….sorry about that gb

  49. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am

    gnarly
    January 2nd, 2009 at 8:14 am
    i forgot gb is the one who decides who to rip and when….sorry about that gb

    ————————————————————

    I don’t decide anything…just stating an opinion. Try again, junior.

  50. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 8:16 am

    and suggestion.

  51. Joey January 2nd, 2009 at 8:32 am

    I don’t post often on here but I just have to say, sometimes you so called fans make me sad to be a Yankee fan. When your ripping guys who take time out of their day to “try” and bring you “fans” alittle humor its is just another example of your ignorance on what being a Yankee fan is – A priviledge!!! Can’t wait to see what you have to say when CC gives up 7 runs in a game, or Tex makes an error and goes 0-5. Sorry, I just woke up and got a little erked by the abuse. have a great day and season.
    Joe

  52. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 8:34 am

    I appreciate everyone whose commenting on the post. It is a bit of a take it or leave it thing. Not our best work, but with 500 words, you don’t have much space to work with. Personally, I’d rather not write another baseball related post since you can go to hundreds of sites to read that. Its January, and things are slow.

    The writings are very satirical and sarcastic. Not everyone’s going to enjoy or get it. I understand that. Still, for the haters and lovers alike, thanks for reading!

  53. Betsy January 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 am

    I’m taping MLB network’s whole day of programming, lol (or most of it). Those highlight shows about HRs, Fall Classic moments, etc……..should be wonderful. This network is already addictive – it’s like having the HOF in my own home. What a great thing for lovers of baseball and baseball history.

  54. feefoo January 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 am

    AFTER READING THIS PIECE I GOT GROGGY AND ALMOST JUMPED OFF MY ROOF! THANK GOD I DIDNT

  55. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 am

    Betsy
    January 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 am
    I’m taping MLB network’s whole day of programming, lol (or most of it). Those highlight shows about HRs, Fall Classic moments, etc……..should be wonderful. This network is already addictive – it’s like having the HOF in my own home. What a great thing for lovers of baseball and baseball history.

    ————————————————————

    I’m hoping that MLBTV can acquire the rights to the old “Home Run Derby” shows that was broadcast back in 1959 and 1960, and hosted by Mark Scott, a broadcaster for the old Hollywood Stars of the PCL. It was great viewing on a cold winter’s day.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H.....TV_series)

  56. FrankD January 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 am

    Complete BS. Everyone knows that Hal is in charge and would never be scared of someone punching Hank’s horse. Even if Hank was the point man a punch in the face would not have the same impact as one to the nuggets.

  57. RER - 98 January 2nd, 2009 at 8:56 am

    If reports are true with the SF Giants pursuing Manny, it opens the door for a Yankee-Giant deal involving either Aaron Rowand or Randy Winn for Yankee names such as Juan Miranda, Nady, Melky, and Kennedy.
    It bears watching in upcoming days.

  58. Brian (Red Sox Fan) January 2nd, 2009 at 8:59 am

    GB7 – I’m sure that those old Home Run Derby shows are available. I believe that the ESPNClassic Channel has aired them in the last couple of years (unless I was hallucinating). They were filmed in a minor league park which closely resembled Wrigley Field. King of the Hill format, with Mickey Mantle one of the participants,

  59. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 9:01 am

    Fernando, I took the time to read one of the entries in Pavano’s diary (based on someone here’s recommendation) and found it absolutely hysterical. I think you guys are extremely gifted writers and wildly creative. Thanks for the laugh!

    :D

  60. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Not crazy about either Rowand or Winn, but, of the two, I’ll take Rowand and for those four players going to SF, they’d have to include Sanchez, who could use some refinement at scranton in order to fix those control issues.

  61. yanksrule57 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:04 am

    Good job guys, now let’s see the “It is high…”, group top that.

    BTW, Spring training ticket information for individual games is on the Steinbrenner Field website. I believe it is 9 January for the start of sales.

  62. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:07 am

    Brian (Red Sox Fan)
    January 2nd, 2009 at 8:59 am
    GB7 – I’m sure that those old Home Run Derby shows are available. I believe that the ESPNClassic Channel has aired them in the last couple of years (unless I was hallucinating). They were filmed in a minor league park which closely resembled Wrigley Field. King of the Hill format, with Mickey Mantle one of the participants,

    ————————————————————

    Yeah, Brian..I’ve bought them at a PX in Iraq, but, haven’t gotten the rest of the programs. I can get them at Amazon.com. I just figured that the shows were a natural for MLBTV. There are a lot of shows with historical footage that I’m hoping they’ll broadcast. Ken Burns’ Babeball is definately a must see.

  63. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 am

    Trisha, glad you liked it! Pavano was a great source of writing material. If nothing else his $41.95 million got us that.

  64. Doreen January 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 am

    I’ve never visited “RJG,” not knowing what I would find. While I wouldn’t say the piece was hysterical – it was pretty funny. The idea of Kei Igawa holding up the Cameron deal, which seemed to die out of nowhere after appearing imminent, was a really good way to go!

    Thanks, guys, for a more light-hearted point of view. :)

    Pete, I love the pinch-hitting in January – loved it last year and looked forward to it for this year. A little nudge to some other blogs with a different take on things. A little something new for the new year.

  65. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:10 am

    Brian, that was Wrigley Field…in Los Angeles. Phillip Wrigley owned the park and the Hollywood Stars during that time. The LA Angels played there in 1961 also. The link I added had all of the hitters that participated listed at the bottom.

  66. darkmoonfire January 2nd, 2009 at 9:13 am

    Well I thought it was funny.

    I’m sure there’s some truth to it too… Just what is really behind Igawa’s mirrored sunglasses…?

  67. S.A.-Brian "The Ninja" Cashman: Showing free agents lots of love January 2nd, 2009 at 9:14 am

    “I got home one day,” Hank said, “and I was going through my mail and I found a letter without a return address. I opened it up, and all it said was ‘If you trade me, I will punch your horse.’ It included a picture of my prize horse Tornado Thunder and a masked person wearing a boxing glove. I couldn’t tell it was Kei Igawa, but I suspected it was him.”

    ————————————————-

    LOL
    Great job outta the Respect Jeter’s Gangster peeps

  68. SJ44 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:15 am

    I think the Facebook idea, while generating more posts, just brings more riff raff in here.

    I thought it was pretty funny, myself. Then again, I’m not one to spend the Holiday Season fretting over VORP, Bill James or Peter Gammons when it comes to the Yankees.

    Here is the great thing about blogs. If you don’t like what your read on one, either start your own or stop visiting the blog that gives you such heartburn.

    Keep fightin’ the good fight Fernando! You guys keep it light….as it should be.

    Its just sports, folks. That’s all it is. It ain’t life or death.

  69. Irabu's Son January 2nd, 2009 at 9:16 am

    RJG is classic. This is my favorite of all time:

    http://respectjetersgangster.b.....ndled.html

  70. Brian (Red Sox Fan) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:23 am

    GB7 – good info on the LA Wrigley Field. I didn’t realize that the LA Angels spent a season there.

  71. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:27 am

    Doreen,

    This post isn’t our best work, but it is indicative of the kind of writing we do. If you want to see some of the other things we’ve done, we have a summary of our work over the last year as the top post on our blog. Some of the stories including the “Joba’s Fist Pump” story and the “Cashman Handles Demotions Coldly” got some good play. Some of yall may like the Peter Abraham interview we did. Basically, if you have some time to kill, and liked what we wrote, check out some of our other pieces.

  72. gianthinker January 2nd, 2009 at 9:29 am

    YanksFan

    “The man is 6-foot-1, 205 lbs.
    Ask yourself why you wrote what you wrote.”

    Taking blogging a little too seriously tough guy? I wrote that joking around after reading a funny mock story about Igawa, a horse and Young Stein. I don’t have a clue how big the man is. I know on TV he looks 12. So chill out. You act like I said CC is the size of a jockey. If you thought I was being racist, I’m not. It is called humor. Maybe before nipping up you should laugh and ask yourself why you wrote what you wrote.

    …I cant believe a “YanksFan” gave me crap about making fun of Igawa… What are you his agent? He’s been a horrible Yankees signing since day one. What does he owe you money or something? Is Pavano off limits too or is Rajah of Rehab not up to Igawa’s HOF status?

  73. DAVE SILVESTRI'S CANTILEVERED HAMMOCK January 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Is RJG the source of the classic Pollyanna Porkchop posts?

  74. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 9:30 am

    “RJG is classic. This is my favorite of all time:

    http://respectjetersgangster.b.....ndled.html

    I have tears coming out of my eyes from laughing so hard! This stuff made me laugh out loud.

    Man alive these guys are hysterical!

    Definitely will be added to my favorites.

  75. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 9:33 am

    I swear to God I am still laughing out loud thinking about “To the Left!

  76. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:35 am

    SJ44, thanks for the love! And I agree that Baseball is a game, a great game, but a game. If you can’t have fun with it from time to time, then why bother with it at all? But in reality, I knew our writing would be very polarizing. People aren’t used to this kind of writing when it comes to baseball, and some people like to stick to the norm. We could have done some sort of statistical analysis of A-Rod’s hitting in the clutch, or a review of Jeter’s gold glove awards, but its been done to death already. I feel like this is a better way to pass the time between big free agent signings.

  77. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Brian (Red Sox Fan)
    January 2nd, 2009 at 9:23 am
    GB7 – good info on the LA Wrigley Field. I didn’t realize that the LA Angels spent a season there.

    ————————————————————

    Thanks, Brian…happy to add a little extra info. There were a couple on LA teams there, including the Los Angeles Angels minor league team of the PCl. They were a team of mashers. Steve Bilko was a 50 homer guy. There are a few books that have some great stats available. The Oakland Oaks had a 2nd baseman that had an average of .392, with 230 hits, 48 doubles, 31 stolen bases, and 174 RBI’s in 130 games one year. I can’t figure out why Billy Martin never became somebody.

    There were unreal one season homer totals in the 70s, 200 RBI seasons, pitchers with 27 strikeouts in a 9 inning game, pitchers that had 9 inning no hitters with 23 strikeouts and lost 9-8. I’ll try and locate the titles and post them, later.

  78. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:40 am

    Dave Silvestri, I have no idea what the Pollyanna Porkchop posts are, so I think my answer is no.

    Trisha, that story was well received, and the funny thing is, when I was writing it I thought it was one of my weaker posts.

  79. Garym(Yanks and More) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:42 am

    This was definitely a different kind of entry. I really dont think you guys should just bash people because you dont like what they write. Peter needs to take a break and it is very slow for baseball now until next month when we get to spring training. Appreciate what everybody is doing by taking their time and adding to this site. Respect Jeters Gangster keep doing what your doing, you are very unique.

  80. Jeremy January 2nd, 2009 at 9:45 am

    I also don’t understand why people are questioning whether this post is “funny.” It is not meant to be funny. It is hard-hitting investigative journalism. It is not Fernando Alejandro’s fault that such crazy events occur within the Yankee organization.

  81. AeroFANatic January 2nd, 2009 at 9:46 am

    I fear Jeter’s “Gangsta” is going to hold the Yanks over the coals after his contract expires in 2010. He will be making 21 million a year then. Is he worth that much? NO. However, I have a bad feeling this situation wont turn out well…

    Jeter will want 4 years and 80 million.
    Yanks should offer no more than 3/45.

    Let’s see what happens.

  82. Joey's Poodle January 2nd, 2009 at 9:48 am

    RJG, thanks for a light-hearted approach, especially to relatively trivial matters that people can get insanely overwrought about. Often makes me laugh not just at your shtick but at the folks who are gnashing their keyboards elsewhere about the same stuff! Wish you guys even more success in lightening up us NYY fans in 2009.

  83. joltin joe January 2nd, 2009 at 9:49 am

    how many days to spring training?

  84. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 9:54 am

    Fernando all I can say is that you guys definitely have a gift. The concept of a karaoke machine with Cashman of all people rapping out demotions? Come on folks, that’s comic genius.

    My sister is a Sox fan but I will be emailing that column for her to read, Fernando. I know she will think it’s an absolute scream.

    I have to go now, since I need to read more of your stuff!

  85. Brandon (CC & AJ now Marky Mark (they stilled over paid him) are Yankees) January 2nd, 2009 at 9:59 am

    “Not crazy about either Rowand or Winn, but, of the two, I’ll take Rowand and for those four players going to SF, they’d have to include Sanchez, who could use some refinement at scranton in order to fix those control issues.”

    That’s the only way I would take Rowand, either way both Rowand and Winn are at the end of thier careers both of them would together wouldn’t be worth prospects.

    Randy Winn is 34 and can’t field anymore, Aaron Rowand is 30 and is declining 88/4 SO/K vs RHP…the only thing he does good which we don’t know if he can continue it is hit walls hard and hit around .280 w/ a .400 OBP w/ RISP.

    In 08′ he saw 3.9 P/PA… not something I’d be thrilled to see, he basically is a platoon player and we have enough of those.

  86. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 9:59 am

    Fernando,

    Keep on keepin on.Your blog reminds me of my colege days, or what I remember of them lol , and reading National Lampoon. Not everything works all the time for everyone,but it’s fun finding out what works for you. I’ll definitely be checking your site out regularly.Thanks to Pete for turning me on to it.

  87. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 10:01 am

    I spelled “college” wrong. Spent too much time reading National Lampoon I guess LOL.

  88. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 10:04 am

    Drive 4-5, what better days than the college days is my motto.

  89. GreenBeret7 January 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 am

    Drive 4-5
    January 2nd, 2009 at 10:01 am
    I spelled “college” wrong. Spent too much time reading National Lampoon I guess LOL.

    ————————————————————

    Let me guess…You went to Harvard or another Ivy League school, right? They have the bet education.

    Sorry….it was too easy to pass up. There’s no chance that’ll drag in the Boston trolls.

  90. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 10:22 am

    GB7,

    I dropped out of Hahvad. As for the Boston trolls, keep baitin them. I’m hungry lol

  91. Trina January 2nd, 2009 at 10:28 am

    From the looks of it, if you don’t lavish everything with praise you are a “hater”.

    Well, I guess I’m a hater because Jeters Gangster stinks and this post isn’t worthy of a junior high school newspaper..

    Peter, please speed your return to us!!

    Love, -T

  92. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 10:41 am

    Trina,

    You’re not a hater if you don’t lavish praise. You’re a hater when you say things like “this post isn’t worthy of a junior high school newspaper”. There’s definetely some hate there. You can’t deny it. But that’s beside the point. The point is, as you can see by all the comments, people either hate it or love. There’s very few people in between. That’s what this kind of writing does. They either get the humor and laugh or don’t get it and become upset. But if you’re getting upset over a post that has to do with punching a horse in the face, you do have to get over yourself a bit.

  93. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 am

    I hate you Fernando! I hate you!

    It’s your fault that I have accomplished none of the laundry list of stuff I have to do this morning. I made myself promise I’d get off my rear as soon as I can stop laughing at your posts about Jeter being the worst shortstop ever. Maybe in an hour I’ll stop hating you…maybe.

  94. Sean Serritella January 2nd, 2009 at 10:46 am

    Very creative. Great job.

  95. Tommy January 2nd, 2009 at 10:46 am

    extremely lame.

  96. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Drive 4-5, I do apologize! When you can find it in your heart to forgive me just let me know. I’ll wait in timeout in the mean time.

  97. Trina January 2nd, 2009 at 10:54 am

    I love the comment that some guy wrote “you shouldn’t bash people just because you don’t like what they write”

    Really? What are you supposed to do when you don’t like their material? Ask them to hold hands and snuggle? If something sucks, its sucks and the writers should be men enough to take a bashing especially if they write for public consumption. Since when do you have to give nothing but praise? Sheesh.

  98. RustyS January 2nd, 2009 at 10:55 am

    Not funny at all, RAB’s post kills this one.

  99. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 11:04 am

    How anyone can read the Carl Pavano diaries and not laugh is beyond me. I’m laughing so hard my wife came in to see what I was up to. This is very clever parody these guys are writing. I can appreciate that it’s not for everyone but there’s a lot of folks out there that do enjoy it. Their writing is a niche thing.

  100. Blimp the Chimp January 2nd, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Sucked a lot

  101. Irabu's Son January 2nd, 2009 at 11:35 am

    Fernando, you need RJG on facebook. I was gonna add you but I felt like a stalker.

  102. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 11:44 am

    I could probably do that. I’m not too familiar with the facebook group stuff, but my brother is. I’ll get him on the case!

  103. trisha - CC and AJ and Sheets - OH MY! January 2nd, 2009 at 11:56 am

    Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s just semantics, but I personally see a difference between “That’s definitely not my kind of humor” and “Wow did that suck!” The first I find to be an objective statement of (someone’s) fact; the other I find to be a meanspirited comment.

    Now I guess when you’re posting comments on the internet, the second comment might be acceptable shorthand. I don’t find it surprising as much as I find it disappointing. I just wish people could be more respectful in their comments. But since some people here have trouble keeping it objective and feel the need to personally attack when they don’t agree with statements made here – (I know this one well myself seeing my comments have been lightning rods for nasty personal attacks) – it wasn’t surprising to see either nasty or dismissive comments about RJ’sG.

    Just my opinion. It could be that Fernando Alejandro couldn’t care less about the nasty-toned comments; and I guess it is true that if you post something you do leave yourself open to comment. I guess I just don’t understand the need for people to attack others personally or to be lousy or mean in their comments when they could merely say they don’t agree with the perspective and then just say why.

    Just sayin’

  104. george January 2nd, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Its not whether you “get it” or not.

    I think most people understood the post and the jokes.

    Like other have said though, I agree I got nothing out of it and wish I had my 5 minutes back.

  105. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    Oh george, what would you do with those 5 minutes? If you’ve been working on a cure for cancer and I took 5 minutes away from that, then I am deeply sorry. Otherwise, the fact that your on this site in the middle of the day probably means that you don’t have much to do.

    As for “getting” jokes or not, its a matter of perspective. Some people read it and laugh, you read it and don’t. People have different kinds of humor. Its just the way it is.

    Trisha, I figured the response would be split like this. The negative responses aren’t surprising in that we’re on an internet board, and people feel more comfortable with their negativity in this setting. Its just the way it is.

  106. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Sorry Fernando,but I’m still hating you. You were on your way out of my doghouse till I took a lunch break and read your ideas about what you would do if you bought the NY Times stake in the Red Sox.

    “-Make Fenway a dry park.

    -Sell the secret recipe of the Fenway Frank to Oscar Meyer.

    -Install a giant photo of Manny on the green monster.

    -Prank call Curt Schilling with fake contract offers.

    -Sign Carl Pavano.

    -Split my ownership stake between Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone.”

    You’re pretty close to being doomed in my book.

  107. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    Darn it!

  108. AROD fan January 2nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    This is a hilarious post, and your blog rocks! Thanks!

  109. li January 2nd, 2009 at 1:01 pm

    Respect Jeter’s Gangster is silly and smart at the same time. Party on, boys.

  110. AROD fan January 2nd, 2009 at 1:03 pm

    Like other have said though, I agree I got nothing out of it and wish I had my 5 minutes back.

    out of all the time you spend on the internet reading sports “writing,” THESE are the five minutes of your life you want back? WOW. Way to go RJG, that’s a real accomplishment!

  111. Fernando Alejandro (Respect Jeter's Gangster) January 2nd, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    “out of all the time you spend on the internet reading sports “writing,” THESE are the five minutes of your life you want back? WOW. Way to go RJG, that’s a real accomplishment”

    It is a real accomplishment, and I’m glad someone’s acknowledged it. People have read Schilling’s 38 pitches blog, and even still, its these 5 minutes they want back. That’s hard to do.

    Li, thank you! We will party on.

  112. E January 2nd, 2009 at 1:20 pm

    That was a Hiroshima type bombing. Talk about unfunny

  113. Drive 4-5 January 2nd, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    “Apparently the scientists, having cured aids, cancer, and found a way to reverse global warming, measured where every ball was hit from 2002 to 2005. They then forwent any romantic contact for months. Finally, they put the numbers through Mitchell’s Magic Number Crunching Machine and discovered that Jeter is the worst shortstop alive. Even worse than that fat kid everyone always picks last in gym class. Truth hurts Yankee fans, I know. But they measured every ball put into play. Every ball. Put into play. You can’t argue with that sort of methodology.”

    What RJG conveniently omitted was that the scientists also measured Jeter’s lack of tonal range in post game interviews. For this, Jeter deserves his low ranking as the worst shortstop anywhere. At least RJG did address the problem during their emoticon interview with him.

  114. saucY January 2nd, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    i need to read that blog more often. good stuff…

  115. Joey H January 2nd, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    I don’t think any blog beats RAB. Even though two of the three guys on there can get a little pompous, you can always get a good discussion going on.

  116. CanIGetAMooseCall January 2nd, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    An awful post. Content-free and not even funny. Much like Igawa!

  117. Jeff NJ January 2nd, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    Not that anyone is reading this post anymore, but this was just awful and unfunny. That’s three minutes of my life I’d like to have back.

  118. Jb January 2nd, 2009 at 4:50 pm

    RJG
    Absolutely great!
    How someone couldn’t find humor in that is beyond me?!
    Same people who hate Seinfeld and curb your enthusiasm and every other great show I guess..
    If humor was universally accepted I guess it wouldn’t be wortwhile, open to interpretation like art.
    Keep up the gangsta!

  119. ellen January 2nd, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Funny stuff for a Friday – good job!

  120. lil' m January 2nd, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    RJG/Fernando: The post and the blog had me LOL – I’ll never think of that Beyonce song in quite the same way again. Pollyanna Porkchop was an off-center, hysterically funny poster who hasn’t been around for a while. Keep it gangster and keep it real . . .

  121. Erik from a crackberry January 3rd, 2009 at 9:56 am

    Not very funny in my opinion, but I have a dry sense of humor!

    But, respect for these guys for putting their work out there in the public eye.

    Will try their blog soon, regardless of this post!

  122. Pranav January 4th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    RJG is great. Pete – thanks for giving these boys a shoutout; they definitely deserve it. Keep it up!

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