The winner is …
This comment at 3:05 p.m. — I’d like to take this time to Nominate Erica for rookie of the year. Who will second? — was No. 1,000,000.
Send me your address, you win.
Because Erica was mentioned, she will get a fabulous second prize.
Thanks to everybody for playing, that was fun. Now calm down!
UPDATE, 3:18 p.m.: Oh, wait a second. An enraged Kanye West just busted into the press box and said that Beyonce actually won. Security is wrestling him away. Kelly Clarkson is furious.
But Uncle Ellsworth will get the prize, I promise you.