Once again, I’m a bit of a dud on Halloween. Loved the holiday as a kid, but I’m afraid I’m not really the dress-up sort now that I’m older. Back when I was living in Scranton, my great friend Rick loved Halloween and played in a band that hosted a Halloween show every year. I used to throw on a cowboy hat — yes, of course I own one — and call that my costume. No concert this year, so no costume.
However, I am thinking about what costumes the Yankees might wear. I believe I did something similar to this last Halloween. The idea is this: What’s the best-case “costume” for some of the key Yankees next season? If the team had its way, what persona would these guys take on in 2014. Here are a few I came up with.
Alex Rodriguez as
The Invisible Man
Out of sight and out of mind, a disappearing act that would save considerable payroll.
Brett Gardner as
Sometimes super speed is enough, as long as you’re willing to use it. Run, Brett, run!
Dave Robertson as
Taught the ways of The Force by an old and wise mentor. Now it’s his turn to protect the galaxy (or, you know, the lead).
Mark Teixeira as
The Six Million Dollar Man
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. Better, stronger, healthier.
Robinson Cano as
There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home! So why go anywhere else?
Michael Pineda as
Might be covered in bandages, but back from the dead to terrorize the American League.
Eduardo Nunez as
Don’t have to understand how or why success happens, as long as it happens.
Derek Jeter as
Written off. Career believed to be finished. Can’t be reliable at this age. Rivera found a way; Jeter could do the same.
Hal Steinbrenner as
Spend! Spend! Spend!
Associated Press photo